01-May 22, 2024
Starting Over: Part I
Our father, whom some Estonians knew as Dr. August Mae, was a pilot in the Estonian Air Force, before he decided to train as a doctor. He began his medical training during the difficult years between 1938 and 1944, and like many young men of his generation, was impacted by the war, but rarely spoke of it. He also created art – he made small stop-motion animations in the 1940s for his home movies – one was a bird, opening its mouth and out came Mae Films. All part of our personal history. We wish we had asked more about those war years and what impact the war and the subsequent escape to Sweden had on the person he became. And we know even less about our mother’s story. So many families left behind and each one with their own story. We knew time was running out to preserve the stories of our elders, who were born in free Estonia and fled during the Suurpõgenemine, or during the war years. So, we slowly began gathering these stories. Our first project was a short film Kannel Stories/Kandle Lood about kannel player Alfred Kuus with a remastered CD of his playing. The film was screened at EstDocs2010.
Our next documentary Patterns of Freedom/Vabaduse mustrid, grew from filming stories for Triipude Lood fashion show in Toronto, and the women who created that. This film changed shape many times, beginning with a working title Keepers of the Loom, that focused on local Toronto women - the creators of our folk costumes in exile. In the summer of 2014, before I left on a trip to the Laulupidu – the song/dance festival, I worked with our editors, to piece the film together. It felt solid. In Estonia, I met people at the festival, who spoke about their folk costumes, history, heritage and filmed some pieces. This content changed the entire direction of the film, and we started over. I felt I was holding a thin thread – a bit like a shaman, following a thread into a cave, dreaming and upon waking, finding oneself in totally unexpected territory. If I could keep hold of the thread, then the story would come together and touch people’s hearts with the truth of it. I believe it did.
It was stunning as a process, and the resulting film became about the work yes, and the many skilled people involved, but even more so, about the meaning we make of our clothing, our connection to our culture and our ability to read and understand the signs and symbols we carry from our homeland and recreate in exile. The name changed to reflect that. From Keepers of the Loom, it became Patterns of Freedom/Vabaduse mustrid.
In a similar way, our men’s stories project In Search of Our Fathers/Meie isade otsingul has evolved. Our original image/logo had a birch tree and Estonian flag-coloured landscape. We continued interviewing, focusing now on men born in free Estonia, who fled in 1944. With more than 50 interviews conducted, some Latvian stories and hundreds of hours of footage. Our intention was to focus first on men’s experiences during the war years, and how this culture in exile was built up. We began with one short film, Raising the Flag/Lipu heiskamine – the story Fred Ise, who with his brother and a few schoolfriends, raised the flag on Pikk Herman, for a few symbolic moments, amid two warring armies. It was a poignant moment, and we were working on the film, even as the Russian Federation put its troops into Crimea in 2014. We watched in horror – appalled there was no recognition of the “green men” as Russian military – there was nothing neutral about it – while the fear of the West about aggravating Putin, felt like a repeat of our own country’s history under the Soviets. This changed our focus some. But we had a plan. Our next story was going to also be Fred Ise’s story - the second part of the same day, as Fred joined a rather ragtag militia to help drive the Soviet troops out of Estonia – and perhaps surprisingly, came out alive. But then Covid hit, and we needed funding to continue. So, like many things, our world was on hold for a time.
